The uneasy feelings have come back in full force as of late, but I can’t pinpoint one exact reason why. The condition of the world right now? Fear of the unknown in all our upcoming futures? A combination of both with added stresses piled on top? Sometimes it feels like too much for any one person to handle. The anxiety grows constantly and minds are becoming tiresome. The racing thoughts cause pure exhaustion. Where are the answers? At this point, it’s a real struggle to know for sure which way is up. I can feel myself drowning.
I start to see the light, I can almost feel the sun on my face. As I start to compose my thoughts, all I can think of is the refreshing breath of air I so desperately need. I open my eyes to see my beautiful daughter smiling at me. She touches my face with her soft small hands and says, ” I love you, mama. It’s going to be okay.”
I came to realize at that moment that I have no choice. Out of necessity, I must turn my million doubts into strength and determination. Knowing that I have to transform all the fears I have to the motivation I need to make sure my daughter never lives thru the struggle that became the norm in my childhood, well that’s a tall order.
Don’t we all want better for our children? Even people with the best upbringing still want that much more for their children and their children after that and so on. Isn’t that the goal for the majority of parents? Knowing that this perfect little life depends solely on me to give her every single need not only for survival but to live a happy and fulfilled life. Well, that is by far the most overwhelming feeling I’ve ever encountered. But like I said before, giving up is no longer a choice.
I’d love to thank American actress, Lily Tomlin, for more than a couple of quotes that I have grown to love. “The road to success is always under construction.” is one of my favorites because it’s so true! Isn’t construction the worse? How about if you happen to be one of the people left who drive a stick shift, too fast for first but not fast enough for second… Annoying! How do we handle it? Wait and inch our way thru it? Hot and complaining the whole time? Find an alternate route? What are your options? Go around or go thru, either way, aren’t we all hoping for smooth sailing on the other side of the roadblock? Well, I am! I refuse to give up until I find a clear path that is perfect for myself and my family. As much as I want to, and actually do break down at times, I’ve gotten back up that much more!
When you finish your favorite book for the 100th time, you close it up to put it back on the shelf to await another future read. Then what? What if you open some new pages to find your next new favorite. Not every closed door is The End. Sometimes if we’re lucky and determined enough to push thru, an end to an old favorite, as nice and comfy as it may be, is just the beginning for something else that much more wonderful! It’s much easier to talk and write about staying positive than to actually be positive, but please don’t give up!
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